I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
