Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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