I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
