Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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