so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
