people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The ass gains better be worth it
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