I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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