champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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