I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
