My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
