Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
