yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
