; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
