Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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