I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize