yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
