NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
