This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
