I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
