He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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