if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
