I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
