My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
