Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize