I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
