I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
