I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
