He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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