The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
