My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
