And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
