I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
