I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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