Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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