update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize