my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
