He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize