No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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