Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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