summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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