batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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