He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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