I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
