i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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