Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
