Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
