The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
