my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
