I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
