Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Enjoy the penises
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
