I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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