Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
