don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
