Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
