He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
