Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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