another moral hangover. fuck.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
