This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
