Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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