that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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