you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
did you just send me my own nude
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
