i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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