I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have fence marks all over my body
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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