And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
