did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
