Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
