She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize