i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize