So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
