I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
