There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
