I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
