i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
