And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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