and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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