i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
